"I am not me any more. At least I'm not the same me I was."-che guevera

so I don't update this thing all too often, but I still have quite an attachment to it. i mean, i literally have over six years of memories saved in this little contraption.

but  friends only again. ask&ill add you. grazie&prego

i just want to be beautiful.

why is this too much to ask for?

Mom: What should I make for your birthday tomorrow?
Me: *watching Amores Perros on laptop* Gael Garcia Bernal. Wait what?


please?

I am watching the movie UP! with my little brother.

Why does this make me feel like crying? It's only been 12 minutes into the movie...

losing friendships...is very painful.
especially when the other person doesnt notice, going on with their life, not giving the effort.

the way the chords of your voice play, the way your armor shines beneath the light of a foreign sun thousands of miles away, its mesmerizing and my head, which was so tightly in place, is spinning past constellations searching for moons and dreams i'm not sure fully exist...


boyyy you got me dreaminnnnnnnn

9albi leih ta5onoh?

so im looking at the lines on my bed, white waves on navy, like streams of rope in dark seas, and funnily enough that is where i am right now in my life. just sort of sunken in the sea, sort of watching, not really living, but not totally in a coma either.

but where those ropes will lead me to, i wonder...

ana men gheirak zay guitar, bas guitar men gheir awtar
(without you im like a guitar, but a guitar without chords)

None.
As amazing as some days have been in my life, I would never want to live a day over and over--I think I would become too attached..I would have never endured those bad days since that one amazing day, and as nice as that might sound I would have never learned the lessons I needed to have learned.
Always look towards the future, never dwindle on the past too long, no matter how amazing or awful it was...you can't change it :]

Perhaps I am reading too much into things, perhaps pupils are not meant to be observed but only the cornea, only the outer surface that never really touches those strange, inexplainable strings that plays the chords of the heart...the sounds of which change everytime, the sounds I can never play straight...

but are they meant to be played precisely, like some sort of formula, in the first place...?

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh, i feel burned out.